Every November: A time of grief and joy

November can be filled with loaded emotions for those in the adoption community.  An experience of joy, sorrow, loss, gain, blessing and pain. Included is shattering and healing. Calm and rage. Yes, as an adult adoptees I carry the weight of November. I sense a huge loss inside of me that so have carried along my life-journey. I used to feel ashamed of the feeling of being adopted. I would feel guilty that I felt a sense of loss by being adopted when many people told me that I should feel blessed for how much I gained. Guilt leads to shame. Shame leads to isolation. Then we turn off our feelings and tell everyone we are okay and that we tell ourselves that we’re better off alone. That’s a lie. We are better together. Birth parents. Foster parents. Adoptive parents. Foster parents. Adoption Advocates. We’re better together when united. It’s okay to feel what you feel. Let it out and start healing. It’s fine if we celebrate adoption, but let’s not isolate in the process of all of this. Adoption is many things.

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